“Guest Room” Episode 1: Frozen, Disc Golf, Inflation, and Fish

In this, the inaugural episode of “Guest Room” on ENN, the Ears News Network, Main Street is getting icy, a group tries to get Disney on course,  Disney gets inflated, and some fishy comments land a cast member in hot water.

Download: http://traffic.libsyn.com/earsnewsnet/gr-episode_1.mp3

Cast:

Parker Byrd – Chris Laning
Erin Dole – Paige Laning
Guest #1 – Jason Laning
Guest #2 – Jon Laning
Guest #3 – Donna Laning

Intro Music:

“The Whip” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Fauxmercial Music: 

“Return of Lazarus” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Transcript: 

 

Intro (Host – Parker Byrd)
MAIN STREET IS GETTING ICY, A GROUP TRIES TO GET DISNEY ON COURSE,  DISNEY GETS INFLATED, AND SOME FISHY COMMENTS LAND A CAST MEMBER IN HOT WATER.
HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE INAUGURAL BROADCAST OF GUEST ROOM ON ENN, THE  EARS NEWS NETWORK, WHERE WE BRING YOU THE HARD HITTING, TRUTH BREAKING DISNEY NEWS YOU NEED TO KNOW. I’M YOUR HOST, PARKER BYRD.
“Frozen” DISNEY ANNOUNCED THIS WEEK THAT THINGS ON MAIN ST. USA IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM AT THE WALT DISNEY WORLD RESORT IN ORLANDO ARE ABOUT TO GET, IN THEIR WORDS, EVEN COOLER.
IN EARLY SEPTEMBER THE BELOVED PLAZA ICE CREAM PARLOR WILL BE UNDERGOING A MAKEOVER AND A RETHEMING.  GONE IS THE NAME PLAZA ICE CREAM PARLOR, ….PARLOR, PARLOR, WHICH IS HARD TO SAY ANYWAY,  AND ITS CLASSIC TURN OF THE CENTURY LOOK.
INSTEAD, THE LOCATION IS  SLATED TO BECOME ELSA’S MAGICAL FROZEN DAIRY BARN….OF COURSE…WHO COULDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING.  NEW SUNDAES WILL BE INTRODUCED INCLUDING THE ALL-ARENDELLIAN SUNDAE, OLAF’S SUMMER SURPRISE, KRISTOFF AND CREAM, SVEN TRACKS SWIRL, PABBIE’S TROLL HOUSE COOKIE DOUGH ROLL, AND ANNA’S  DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNO CONE. Ok. Fine.
ALSO ADDED TO THE MENU ARE A VARIETY OF MILKSHAKES INCLUDING HANS’S ICY KISS, AND OAKEN’S SAUNA SHAKE WHICH IS SERVED PIPING HOT.  THE REIMAGINED LOCATION IS EXPECTED TO REOPEN IN JANUARY AND IF ALL GOES WELL, RUMORS FORECAST A DISNEYLAND VERSION SOME TIME IN LATE 2016, THOUGH NO LOCATIONS HAVE YET BEEN IDENTIFIED.
AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, MANY LONG TIME FANS AND DISNEY PURISTS ARE UNHAPPY WITH THE NEW DAIRY BARN ADDITION.  CORRESPONDANT,  ERIN DOLE, POPPED OVER TO MAIN ST TO GET GUEST REACTIONS.  ERIN?
(Reporter Erin Dole)
THANKS PARKER.   SO LETS SEE WHAT FOLKS THINK ABOUT THE CHANGES
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THEM REPLACING THE PLAZA ICE CREAM PARLOR WITH ELSA’S MAGICAL FROZEN DAIRY BARN?
(Guest #1 – Man)
REALLY? “FROZEN”? WE’RE GOING WITH “FROZEN”?  THAT MOVIE IS EVERYWHERE!  WE DON’T NEED FROZEN!
WE CAME FOR MICKEY, MINNIE. NOT THIS ANNA, EL….WHATEVER HER NAME IS GIRL
(Guest #2 – Young boy)
IT’S GOING TO BE FUN! I LOVE IT!
(Guest #3 – Woman)
ARE YOU SERIOUS? AREN’T WE DONE WITH THIS “FROZEN” THING YET? THE ONLY FROZEN THING ON MAIN STREET I WANT TO SEE IS WALT!
(Reporter – Erin Dole)
SO AS YOU CAN SEE PARKER, ITS NOT MEETING WITH TOO MUCH APPROVAL DOWN HERE.  BACK TO YOU PARKER.
(Host – Parker Byrd)
WELL ERIN, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT.
(Reporter – Erin Dole)
WELL, AS A DISNEY FAN I SHOULD BE AGAINST IT, BUT FOR SOME REASON, I SEEM TO LIKE THE IDEA. BUT IT SEEMS LIKE MOST PEOPLE WOULD PREFER THAT THEY LET IT GO AND TAKE THE IDEA SOMEWHERE ELSE…UH, THATS ALL I GOT.
(Host – Parker Byrd)
THANKS ERIN. THOUGH I AM NOT SURE I AGREE WITH YOU. I THINK ONE BLOGGER PUT IT BEST WHEN SHE SAID THAT DISNEY IS  (QUOTE) CLEARLY  MILKING THE FROZEN FRANCHISE.
Disc Golf IN OTHER NEWS, AND NEXT DOOR TO THE PLAZA ICE CREAM PARLOR…PARLOR…PAR…OH HECK WITH IT,  DAIRY BARN, THE RECENTLY DEBUTED MAIN STREET PLAZA GARDENS, PART OF THE HUB EXPANSION, IS QUICKLY BECOMING A POPULAR RELAXATION SPOT.
ITS ALSO PROVING TO BE INSPIRATIONAL. SO MUCH SO, THAT AMANDA FRISBY, THE IRONICALLY NAMED PRESIDENT OF THE TOLEDO-BASED AMERICAN DISC GOLF ORGANIZATION, HAS SUBMITTED A PROPOSAL TO DISNEY TO LAYOUT AN 18 HOLE DISC GOLF COURSE RIGHT IN THE HEART OF THE MAGIC KINGDOM.
DISC GOLF IS A FORM OF GOLF PLAYED WITH FLYING DISCS OR WHAT THE REST OF US CALL FRISBEES. PLAYERS “TEE OFF” WITH THEIR FIRST THROW, AND THE GOAL OF EACH HOLE IS TO GET YOUR DISC INTO A CHAIN BASKET.  THE PLAYER WHO CAN NAVIGATE THE COURSE IN THE FEWEST NUMBER OF THROWS WINS.
NOW THE PROPOSED COURSE WOULD HAVE PLAYERS TEEING OFF  WITH A SHORT PAR 3 IN THE PLAZA GARDENS AREA, FOLLOWED BY A LONG PAR FIVE THAT WOULD MOVE THEM OVER THE BRIDGE INTO ADVENTURE LAND. THE COURSE WOULD CONTINUE COUNTER CLOCKWISE THROUGH THE PARK EVENTUAL PASSING THROUGH ADVENTURE LAND, FRONTIER LAND,  LIBERTY SQUARE, THE OLD SECTION OF FANTASYLAND,  TOMORROW LAND ANDF BACK ONTO THE HUB WITH THE BASKET FOR 18TH HOLE  AFFIXED DIRECTLY TO THE FRONT OF CINDERELLA’S CASTLE.
DISNEY REPORTEDLY LIKED THE IDEA BUT WAS CONCERNED THAT DUE TO HEAVY CROWDS, THERE WOULD BE AN INCREASED LIKELYHOOD OF INJURIES TO GUESTS FROM THE FLYING DISCS.  DISNEY TOLD MS. FRISBY THE PLAN COULD GO FORWARD IF A SITE COULD BE IDENTIFIED THAT WAS MOSTLY UNUSED AND DEVOID OF GUESTS.
HAPPILY, ONE SUCH SITE WAS IDENTIFIED. DISC GOLFERS ARE NOW EXPECTED TO BEGIN TEEING OFF AT THE WALT DISNEY WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP DISC GOLF COURSE STARTING OCTOBER 15TH AT DISNEY’S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS.
MORE NEWS AFTER THIS….
Fauxmercial (Deep Announcer with Scary Music)
AN ATTRACTION THAT STRIKES FEAR INTO THOSE WHO DARE ATTEMPT IT. AN EXPERIENCE SO EPIC, SOME BELIEVE IT SHOULD ONLY BE A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EVENT. THE INTENSE EFFECTS AND NEAR CACOPHONOUS SOUNDS OVERWHELM ALL BUT A HARDY FEW.
ON THIS VOYAGE, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT LIES AROUND THE BEND, AND WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, YOU MAY JUST FIND OUT THE HARD WAY….
(whistling a haunted version of Its a Small World theme)
….THAT ITS A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL. NOW PLAYING AT A DISNEY PARK NEAR YOU. CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS.
Inflation (Host – Parker Byrd)
WELCOME BACK TO GUESTROOM ON ENN. TURNING TO FINANCIAL NEWS, BACK IN FEBRUARY DISNEY RAISED PRICES ON PARK TICKETS WITH A SINGLE DAY TICKET AT A DISNEYLAND PARK MOVING TO $99 AND A SINGLE DAY TICKET TO THE MAGIC KINGDOM IN ORLANDO TOPPING OUT AT $105..
RECENTLY,  NOTED WHARTON SCHOOL OF BUSINESS ECONOMICS PROFESSORS WILLIAM KULL AND JOSEPH FISK DID A STUDY TO SEE WHAT TICKET PRICE INCREASES AT DISNEY PARKS WOULD EQUATE TO IN INFLATIONARY TERMS.   ACCORDING TO PROFESSOR KULL THEY COMPARED THE COST OF A SINGLE DAY TICKET TODAY,  $105 TO THAT OF A SINGLE DAY TICKET IN 1990, WHICH WAS $31.  PROFESSOR FISK REVEALED  THEIR STUDY SHOWED A 48% INCREASE IN TICKET PRICES, OR AN AVERAGE OF 1.97% A YEAR OVER THE LAST 25 YEARS WHEN COMPARED IN INFLATION ADJUSTED 1993 DOLLARS.
A DISNEY SPOKESPERSON RESPONDED BY SAYING THEY ACTUALLY DID LOOK AT THE FISK / KULL REPORT AND ADMIRED ITS “CREATIVITY”.  BUT THAT MANIPULATING THE ADJUSTED DOLLARS VALUE CAN RESULT IN VERY INACCURATE CONCLUSIONS.  DISNEY THEN RELEASED THEIR OWN STUDY SHOWING THAT TICKET PRICES.HAVE INCREASED BY LESS THAN 7% WHEN COMPARED USING 1993 DISNEY DOLLARS..
Fish AND FINALLY, WE HAVE HEARD ABOUT DISNEY CAST MEMBERS GETTING SEEMINGLY RIDICULOUS QUESTIONS FROM GUESTS LIKE, WHAT TIME IS THE 3 O’CLOCK PARADE. AND WHILE THAT ONE IS PRETTY EASY TO ANSWER, SOME ARE NOT AS EASY, LIKE THE ONE THAT COLLEGE PROGRAM CAST MEMBER JOE STERNOUT RECENTLY GOT. JOE, WHO WAS AN ALL-STAR TACKLE FOR CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL IN HOBOKEN, NJ, AND NOW WORKS ATTRACTIONS IN FANTASYLAND IN THE MAGIC KINDOM IN ORLANDO,  WAS RECENTLY APPROACHED BY A GUEST WHO ASKED HIM WHAT TIME THE PARK CLOSED.
JOE, KNOWING THAT IT WAS AN EXTRA MAGIC HOUR NIGHT, WHERE GUESTS STAYING ON PROPERTY GET TO HANG OUT IN THE PARK PAST NORMAL CLOSING, POLITELY ASKED THE GUEST WHERE HE AND HIS FAMILY WHERE STAYING.
THE GUEST BEAMED THAT THEY WERE STAYING IN THE FINDING NEMO SECTION OF THE ART OF ANIMATION RESORT.
SO THE PAINFULLY SHY JOE ASKED IN HIS QUIET HOBOKEN ACCENT “OH? SO YOU’RE PLANNING ON SLEEPING WITH THE FISHES TONIGHT?”
WE THANK JOE FOR HIS CAST MEMBER SERVICE AND WISH HIM THE BEST OF LUCK WITH HIS NEXT JOB.
Outro AND THAT’S ALL FOR THE INAUGURAL EDITION OF ENN’S GUESTROOM. IF YOU’LD  LIKE TO COMMENT ON THIS EPISODE OR WOULD LIKE TO SEND ALONG A NEWS STORY FOR US TO LOOK INTO, DROP US AN EMAIL AT GUESTROOM@EARSNEWS.NET.
YOU CAN LISTEN TO THIS AND FUTURE EPISODES ON OUR WEBSITE AT EARSNEWS.NET. THERE YOU CAN FIND LINKS TO OUR FACEBOOK PAGE AND TWITTER ACCOUNT AS WELL.UNTIL NEXT TIME I’M YOUR HOST, PARKER BYRD SAYING THANKS FOR LISTENING TO THE  EARS NEWS NETWORK, THE MISTRUSTED NAME IN DISNEY NEWS.  GOODBYE EVERYBODY.
Blooper (Reporter – Erin Dole)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THEM REPLACING THE PLAZA ICE CREAM PARLOR WITH ELSA’S MAGICAL FROZEN DAIRY BARN?
(Guest #2 – Young boy)
IT’S TRUE!
(Laughter from reporter and crew)

 

 

 

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