Lack of Cents in the Disneyland Guardians of the Galaxy Attraction

This news item originally appeared on Episode 21 of the Disney news SATIRE podcast, “Guest Room” on the Ears News Network with Parker Byrd and Erin Dole.

Tony S., a cast member at the new Guardians of the Galaxy – Mission: BREAKOUT! Attraction over at Disney’s California Adventure in the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California wrote to tell us about an encounter he recently had.  Tony was working the exit of the ride when a group of four young boys, just barely tall enough to ride it by his estimation, came hurrying out excitedly chattering.  Curious, Tony stepped closer to see what he could make out of the chatter. One of the boys said “Hey…I had a 5 cent piece in my hand and it floated up when we were dropping.”  

Now, our lawyers would like us to point out that having loose objects in this attraction is ill advised, dangerous, and against Disney policy.  You could even get expelled from the park if caught violating this rule. So JUST DON’T DO IT!

Anyway, Tony writes that a second boy responded “I pulled out my 10 cent piece and it floated too!”.  A third boy also chimed in “I pulled out my 25 cent piece and it floated too”.

While dealing with little kids isn’t exactly Tony’s strong suit, he noticed that the fourth boy’s downtrodden look was in stark contrast to the other three. Tony approached the boy and asked him “Did you float a coin as well?”

“No sir!” said the boy.

Marveling in the fact that perhaps one young guest had actually obeyed the rules, and hoping it served as a message to the other three, Tony confidently asked the boy “Why not?”

The boy’s answer? “‘Cause I didn’t have any cents.”

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